Rough Ryder Read online

  He nodded and waited for them to wander back into the cabin before hauling up the steps and closing the door.

  Ryder guided Brooke to a seat facing forward, then took the seat facing her. “Long flight.”

  She turned her head and looked back at the couch/bed. “And you’re…sleepy?” She gave him a smile and blinked her eyes at him.

  In his jeans, his shaft grew and heated. They could spend the next few hours horizontal, doing so many things he’d been thinking about. No, he wanted to do this right. They needed to talk things out first. Then they’d jump into bed. And he wanted that bed to be in his house, on his ranch. He leaned forward. “I’m so damn…sleepy…that I could spend the whole trip in the back of the plane. But I thought we should get a few things cleared up first, cutie.” He blinked. “Brooke.”

  She nodded quickly a few times. “I think that’s a good idea.” She sucked her lip into her mouth. “But you can still call me cutie.” She flapped one hand, opening her mouth, then closing it again. A few seconds later, she leaned forward. “I mean, I know it started out as your way of not having to remember my name.”

  His jaw clenched. Had he been that obvious?

  “But now…” She gave him a sweet smile and shrugged. “I’ve grown to like it when you call me cutie.”

  Letting out a sigh, he swallowed. There weren’t words to explain to her how using endearments had kept his sex life compartmentalized, how not knowing women’s names had given him a feeling of anonymity. Brooke had come crashing through the barriers he’d built and changed all that. Someday, he’d tell her. But not today. They were both trying to find their way through this new situation. This relationship.

  Brooke watched him, waiting for him to take the lead.

  Ryder pulled himself back from his deep thoughts. “Do you want to start, or should I?”

  The pilot pinged two beeps, so they fastened their seatbelts, and in minutes were airborne.

  “You start, definitely.” She watched the lights of DC out her window. “I need to know what happened to change your mind.”

  “Change my mind? How do you know this wasn’t my plan all along?” His joke sounded wrong to his ears.

  She looked at him with sad eyes. “You had my phone number, but never called me.”

  Chapter Twenty

  He slid his phone from his pocket, pulled up her contact information, and held the phone face-out to her. “I plugged in your number when you gave it to me.” How did he explain this? “But after so many years of doing things one way, I couldn’t get myself to change the habit. I couldn’t talk myself into making the commitment.”

  “You have my headshot from my website as my contact photo?” She sounded startled as she stared at his phone.

  “Yeah. I did that last night, when I couldn’t stand the thought of being without you one more minute.” He sounded pathetic, but it was the truth, and he wanted to make this time with Brooke all about honesty.

  Her gaze shot to his, her hazel eyes wide.

  When she didn’t say anything, he put his phone on the table next to him. “That’s when I saw you were going to be at the songwriters’ showcase, and I came up with the crazy plan—”

  “Ryder, tonight—you and that sign—it was honestly the most amazing moment of my life.”

  He felt his cheeks warm. It had taken him only seconds to come up with the sign idea, and another nine hours to try to talk himself out of doing it. It went against every rule he’d set up for his public life, but ultimately, logic ended up getting stomped down by emotion. “I’m really glad you didn’t think I was losing my mind at the bar tonight, because it almost felt like it there for a while.”

  “I can imagine how hard it had to be for you.” She wrapped her arms around her middle. “You’ve kept your private life out of the spotlight and you did things a certain way to ensure that, like you said.” Her gaze locked with his. “Then you turned absolutely the opposite direction and went public at the bar tonight. That’s so incredibly flattering to me, I just want to dance around and sing the hallelujah chorus.”

  A quick laugh burst out of him. “Now that would be interesting.” He picked up his phone and unlocked it. He pressed dial, and in seconds, her phone rang in her bag.

  She closed her eyes for a moment then undid her seatbelt and reached into her bag, pulling out her phone. “Hello?”

  He grinned. “Miss Brooke Davidson?”

  “Yes, it is. Who is this?” Her smile lit her whole face.

  “I don’t know if you remember me or not, but this is Ryder Landry. I stole one of your songs?”

  “Ryder.” The hand holding her phone dropped onto her lap. “I can’t imagine never having met you.”

  He ended the call. “But we did meet.”

  “And I guess, in some twist of universal fate, I have McCrae to thank for that.” She frowned.

  “I guess you do.” He unlatched his seatbelt and sat forward. “But I have to believe, even if your song hadn’t been stolen, we would have met, I would have bought Lasting Goodbye and released it, and we’d still be right here, right now.”

  Leaning forward, her brows drew together. “Do you really? That sounds more like one of my mother’s theories than something you’d believe in.”

  He waved a hand through the air. “I don’t know about all that cosmic free-for-all, but I get this feeling when I’m with you. It’s not something I can ignore. Nor do I want to.”

  Brooke looked like she could burst into tears then, but she breathed deeply a few times and seemed to regain control. “There’s something else, though, as long as we’re getting everything out in the open.”

  “Shoot.” He braced himself for the question.

  “You and Hope, on your ranch.” She looked away. “I realize now that you were rewriting the song into a duet, but…were you ‘with’ her?”

  “No. The closest we’ve gotten to each other is a hug.”

  Her gaze darted to his. “I guess I’d rather know the truth about this, and work to put it behind us than have you feel you need to hide something from me.” She swallowed hard. “In the spirit of getting everything out in the open, I mean.”

  She thought he was lying? That hurt, but after all the bullshit moves he’d made to keep her out of his life, why would she instantly trust him? “Honestly, nothing happened between us except, like I said, a hug or two. We’re friends, that’s all. And the whole time we were together, the only woman I could think of was a hot little songwriter who’d forced her way into my world and torn up the list of rules I lived by.”

  Her smile lasted just seconds, then fell away. “I want to believe you. I really do.” She clasped her hands together, lacing her fingers. “But when I talked to Hope at the concert, she had that certain look in her eye. She talked about sunsets and horse rides and walks and—”

  “She did do all those things, but not with me.” Ryder could see why an intuitive person like Brooke would pick up on Hope’s happiness. “My foreman, Buck Boudry, gave Hope a ride from the airport, and damned if they didn’t click.”

  Brooke’s face slowly lifted in a smile.

  “Crazy match, those two. Polar opposites in terms of personality and social strata, but they seemed to find enough to talk about.”

  “Really?” She collapsed back into her chair, looking relieved and exhausted.

  “Really. Call Hope if you’d like.”

  “No.” She rolled her head back and forth on the chair. “I believe you.” She stared off for a few seconds. “I think Hope knew we’d spent the night together that morning we went down to her hotel room. I couldn’t imagine her being so insensitive to my feelings at the concert, so it makes sense that she was talking about your foreman, not you.” She glanced at him. “Sorry for the drill sergeant act.”

  “Not a problem. I’m glad you asked about it instead of just trying to ignore it.” If Brooke was always as honest and forthcoming as this, things would bump along pretty smoothly for them. Aw, hell, was he thin
king long-term again? Yep, and it didn’t panic him like it used to. “My turn to bring up an old wound.”

  Brooke toed off her boots and tucked her legs under her on the chair, her serious expression reminding him of someone preparing for battle.

  “I was a real ass at the concert. When I talked with you at intermission—”

  “Ryder, no. You’d just gotten a huge shock from Steele. You don’t have to—”

  “Yes.” He held up a hand. “Yes, I do. No matter how I felt after my brother made his announcement, I was wrong to speak to you that way.”

  “Apology accepted.” She tipped her head and blinked a couple times.

  He chuckled. “Oh no, you don’t. You’re not gonna let me get out of it that easily. I need to learn to do this, so you’ll just have to listen for a minute.”

  She bit her lips, looking like she held in a smile.

  He worked his jaw for a second. “Hope was so excited to surprise you with our song and our announcement…”

  Her face turned white and her eyes misted.

  “No, wait, let me start over.” He rubbed his temples. “That’s not it. I was being petty. You’d hit a nerve asking me if Hope and I had slept together, so I wanted to see your face when we sang the song and made the announcement. I wanted to gloat, and that’s not who I am, Brooke. So I’m sorry, and I’ll try to learn from what happened that night.”

  “I had a lot of growing up to do that night, too. I should never have run the way I did. Both you and Hope asked me to stay for the whole concert, but I felt sorry for myself, and I reacted without thinking. So, please forgive me too, Ryder.”

  He reached out a hand. “Forgiven.”

  She set her feet on the floor, leaned forward, took his hand and shook it. “Forgiven right back.”

  An urge stole over him, and he gave in to it. Pulling her toward him, he tugged her out of her chair and onto his lap.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck. “If this is what I get for forgiving you, I’m going to do it more often.” She kissed the tip of his nose.

  “You have a hell of a lot more to forgive me for than I’ll ever have to forgive you for.” He stretched and kissed her lips. Soft, warm, and her scent, like ginger and peaches, made his cock fill with blood, pressing hard against her bottom.

  She wiggled. “Mmm. Are we still in talking mode, or have you switched to back-of-the-plane mode?”

  No matter how much he wanted to carry her back to the sofa bed, he knew this time together was integral to making things right between them. “More talking?” He had a difficult time saying the words. Pressing his palms on her hips, he shook his head. “But no more wiggling, please. Or I can’t promise anything.”

  She grinned and pressed another kiss to his nose. “Okay. Here’s my question. What did you do when you left Montana?”

  “Before I left, Steele, Val,…Dad, and I spent time together in a house Steele had rented for the month.” He’d almost choked on the “D” word, but it seemed to be getting easier. “We wanted to discuss all the repercussions of the announcement and work up a plan. So, we decided to reveal everything in a magazine article next month. Avoid having people dig into my mother’s past.”

  “I never thought of that.” Her fingers played in the hair at the nape of his neck. “You’ll tell me the story some day?”

  “I will. When we’re on the ranch. It’ll be easier to talk about it there.” He was almost looking forward to telling her everything. He’d have someone to share the story of his life with...the good and the bad.

  “I’d like that a lot.” She waited patiently.

  “I spent some time talking with Dad alone. About my…abandonment issues.”

  Brooke nodded slowly, as if those last two words explained a lot about Ryder’s behavior.

  “It was a good talk, but the aftermath was more revealing to me. I went back to my room and sat and stared into the fire for hours. I finally saw how pushing women away after a night together could be a direct result of my not wanting to risk being abandoned.”

  Her brow furrowed, and her eyes looked sad. “That’s very introspective.”

  He’d been startled himself, when the revelation had come to him. “I realized how self-defeating my behavior was, after I met you.”

  She blinked a few times. “Really?”

  Nodding, Ryder searched for the right words. “I found myself dreading morning, when you’d be leaving. Thought of asking you to stay. Felt empty when you left.”

  “Ryder.” Her eyes shone with moisture. “You don’t know how wonderful this makes me feel. I wanted to stay so badly, I had to force myself to turn away and go.”

  He tipped his head, his forehead touching her temple. “I’m sorry I did that to you, but it took me longer to come to my senses than it should have.”

  “I’m glad you finally did.” She kissed him quickly, with so much emotion he became breathless.

  “I looked at my music career as a life separate from my real life on the ranch. I didn’t let anything from my public life touch my private one.” He wanted her to know how much he needed that to change now. “Until I met you.”

  “Oh…” Sucking in an unsteady breath, she let it out with a little cry, and a tear rolled down her cheek.

  “No, don’t cry. I—”

  “Tears of joy are okay.” She gave him a watery smile. “How long did you stay in Montana with your family?”

  “Family.” He grinned. “It’s still difficult to believe.” It warmed him to remember the goodbye hugs he’d gotten from Val, Dad, and even Steele. “Just another day, then I went home, to my ranch. I used to love my time alone there. I’d re-energize and catch my breath. But this time, something was missing. The place felt empty.”

  “Schmiddy?” She grinned.

  He pinched her butt, and she wiggled again. “Good guess, but no, not Schmiddy. You, cutie.”

  “Just your saying that makes my heart flutter.” She sighed.

  “It’s true, Brooke. Things have changed. You changed me. No one else has ever made me feel the way you do, and even though I fought it harder with you than I ever had to before, you made your way inside me.”

  He took her hand, holding it over his heart. “I live two lives: a simple rancher, and a country singer owned by the world. You can imagine how different those two personalities are, but you came into my public life, and crossed every barrier I put up and ended up in my personal life. How did you do that?”

  She pressed a kiss to his lips then rested her head on his shoulder. “Sometimes it’s just plain fate.”

  With her snuggled up to him like this, he could do anything, be anyone he wanted to be. His heart under her palm beat steady and true, but it beat for her now. He hummed a tune he’d been playing with for a few weeks, then the words seemed to flow.

  “A mile over Memphis,

  I found the woman I was looking for.

  With just one kiss I knew,

  I didn’t have to be alone any more.

  She stole my heart from me,

  In that midnight flight over Tennessee.”

  “That’s beautiful, Ryder.” Her voice sounded a little choked. “We’ll work on it some, though.” A teasing twinkle flickered in her eyes.

  He laughed and tugged her up for a kiss. “That’s what I like to hear, cutie. Don’t let me get away with my cocky superstar shit.”

  Running her finger over his lip, she gave him those puppy-dog eyes. “I did say that, didn’t I.”

  “You haven’t said anything that I didn’t need to hear, Brooke.” And he knew that he could easily listen to her telling him the truth about himself—for the next hundred years.

  ****

  Brooke woke when Ryder set her in her seat and fastened the seatbelt around her. “We’re landing already?” She stretched and reached for her boots, sliding them on.

  “You conked out on me.” He took his own seat and buckled up.

  “You were singing to me, and it soothed me into a drea
m.” His voice had brushed over her like velvet. “Did I miss any new lyrics?”

  “Uh uh. I kept it to my old stuff. New stuff, I’ll run by you first.”

  “You’re not romancing me for my songwriting skills, are you?” She grinned and watched the dark landscape of Louisiana out the window. Only the runway lights were visible. They must be way out in the country.

  He scratched his cheek. “Well, cutie, if you remember, McCrae said all your other stuff was crap.”

  Her mouth dropped open in mock surprise. “And you believed him?”

  He tapped his booted foot against hers. “Not for a minute. But I’d like to have you on my songwriting team, if you’re willing.”

  This was one of her most coveted dreams coming true. “I’d love to write songs with you.”

  He smiled as the plane touched down. “We’ll try writing some romantic stuff right when we get to the ranch.” His eyes narrowed as his breath came faster. He wanted her naked and in his arms.

  “No tour of the property first? No horseback rides, sunset walks? Just right into your bed?”

  “Yeah, if that’s okay.” His grin was as wicked as sin on a Saturday night.

  “Damn right it is.” She unbuckled her seatbelt as the plane rolled to a stop.

  They jumped up, and he looked as anxious as she felt to get to his ranch. His ranch house bed, more accurately.

  Before the pilot made an appearance, Ryder hauled his suitcase out of the closet, the black tube, then the red bag she’d recognized immediately when Schmiddy had handed it to Ryder at the airport in DC.

  “I’m guessing that’s for me?” She reached for the bag.

  He opened it, looked inside, then frowned. “Please don’t tell me you loaned this dress to Schmiddy.”

  She tossed her head back, laughing. “Like it would fit him!” She held her belly, imagining the big bodyguard in red silk. Then she frowned. “The morning after we…” She swallowed. “…were together, I didn’t think I’d ever hear from you again, and I asked him to donate it someplace.”

  “Interesting. Could that mean he knew we’d be seeing each other again, when even we didn’t?” Ryder handed her the bag, wagging his brows at her.